AUGUST 2009. LAST CHANCE.

i don't know why but i feel like when i turn 21 everything will change. maybe because i will be able to go places and meet people outside of the bubble i'm currently in. CAN'T WAIT.

in other news, majors ups and downs lately. trying to make it so that there are more ups than downs. somehow boys are always the root of these things.

 i love feeling new bones start to stick out.

when does it stop being an illness and become a way of life?

I wish I had a body to die for,
skinny is sexy, sweet anorexia!

i don't know why i'm still interested - all logic and reason would tell me not too. i think it's because i've been seeing him around with that really skinny hipster girl. i don't know what his deal is. but i do know that i have to get sooooo skinny

my comfort.

don't you hate it when you look in a mirror and all you can see is fat

this is hilarious. my new roommates are eating-disorder (prevention)/body image obsessed. they bought a mannequin to smash for eating disorder awareness week.

and this has made my willpower stronger than ever before. i haven't eaten for 2 days (except for a couple of peanuts.) sweet.

WEEK 1
9/1/08- 50 cals- liquids only
10/1/08- 200 cals- fruits and vegetables only
11/1/08- 300 cals
12/1/08- 400 cals
13/1/08- 50 cals- liquids only
14/1/08- 200 cals- fruits and vegetables only
15/1/08- 300 cals

WEEK 2
16/1/08- 200 cals
17/1/08- 400 cals
18/1/08- 600 cals
19/1/08- 800 cals
20/1/08- 200 cals- fruits and vegetables only
21/1/08- 50 cals- liquids only
22/1/08- 50 cals- liquids only

WEEK 3
23/1/08-300 cals
24/1/08- 400 cals
25/1/08- 500 cals
26/1/08- 200 cals- fruits and vegetables only
27/01/08- 300 cals- fruits and vegetables only
28/01/08- 50 cals liquids only
29/ 01/08- 200 cals

i have gained so much weight since being here, i don't even know how to get back on track.

yikes.